I enjoy being alone.

People sometimes ask me, “Do you ever feel lonely?” or “Are you anti-social?” or “Are you overworking?” Or they assume I can’t focus during social events. But honestly? No. I’m not lonely, and I’m not anti-social. I’m just loving my time alone and being selective with my energy.

I get bored easily.

Especially in big group settings. Group catch-ups can feel noisy, repetitive, and a bit… pointless. Not because people are bad, but because the conversation often stays on the surface. I don’t enjoy asking questions just to be polite, or explaining my life and my work when there’s no real reason.

What I do love is one-to-one conversations – the kind that actually go somewhere. Deep chats. Honest stories. A catch-up with purpose.

In groups, I usually talk less.

Because I’m listening, and thinking. A lot of the time, people are focused on talking about themselves (which is normal), and I don’t always feel the need to jump in. So I stay quiet… and people think I’m not paying attention. But I am. Some people say I didn’t grow up “Indonesian enough” because I’m not super communal. I don’t agree. I just show connection differently.

I’m not the loud “let’s hang out every day” type. I’m the “I’ll be there when it matters” type.

And if you ask me what I do in solitude

— I actually do a lot.

I surround myself with activities I love. I travel. I learn. I read. I create. I move my body. I sit with my thoughts. I reflect. Solitude is how I recharge and energise myself, not how I disappear.

“Solitude isn’t loneliness. It’s where clarity lives.”

So next time if I say no to your invitation, please don’t take it personally. I’m just enjoying spending time alone.

And if you feel the same as me, if you enjoy being alone, or you get tired in big social settings: there is nothing wrong with you. You don’t need to force yourself to fit into someone else’s idea of “normal”. Have the courage to choose what feels comfortable for you. It’s okay to say no. It’s okay to need space. The right people will understand. And the right connections will stay — not because you always show up, but because you show up with real intention.

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