There was a season in my life when I really wanted to sound impressive.

I felt this quiet pressure: To sound polished. To sound smart. To sound like I belonged. But over time, I realised the more I tried to impress, the less people actually connected with me.

What changed for me?
When I was younger, moving to a new country felt exciting. I wanted to meet everyone. Prove myself. Show that I was capable. Now, I crave depth. One meaningful conversation means more to me than ten impressive introductions.

So now, when I speak, I ask myself: Am I trying to impress? Or am I trying to connect? And I’ve realised something simple but powerful: “Impressive words fade. But being understood stays.”

1. Clarity is more powerful than intelligence

Instead of saying:

“I have extensive international exposure across multiple cultural environments.”

I can simply say:

“I’ve lived in five countries, and each one changed me.”

2. Stories connect. Theory distances.

I could say:

“Living abroad builds resilience.”

That sounds nice. It sounds intellectual. But it doesn’t make anyone feel anything.

Instead, I can say:

“The first week I moved overseas, I cried in the bathroom because I couldn’t understand anyone. I felt small. That’s when I realised growth isn’t glamorous.”

3. Listening by showing your interest.

The hardest truth but the best to connect is when we ask. Simple questions:

  • “What do you think?”
  • “How was that for you?”
  • “Has that ever happened to you?”

When you genuinely listen, people feel seen and being seen is something we all crave.

4. Slow down and let people breathe with you.

When you pause, you show presence. Often rushing often comes from insecurity. You don’t need to pretend, and you don’t need to rush to find an answer just to fill the silence.

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